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Craig Long
An average student for most of his life, Long was drawn to the theater at an early age, when he performed the lead in the fourth-grade production of The Leprechaun's Pot of Gold. The production did not go over well though, since the children could not spell leprechaun, shortened it to "Lep" and were subsequently chastised for making fun of leprosy victims.
Undaunted, Long adamantly refused to spend his childhood days learning pottery, social studies and long division, but instead wallowed in the works of Aristophanes, Bernard Shaw and Arthur Miller. "Of course, I also wanted to be Benny Hill in the worst way," he said years later, because not only could he act in a weird, oddly entertaining way, but he never got any girls, which I could completely relate to."
Long continued his theater work throughout junior high, landing a singing (no speaking) role in the musical Up the Wall in the sixth grade. In the seventh grade, he reprised his non-famous role with a one-line delivery of "But what's with kids today?" which brought tears and a standing ovation from Long's parents. (Long's brother Bryan remained seated due to a football injury)
Long took a sabbatical from acting at the tender age of thirteen, when his then-girlfriend begged him to quit. "Nicole used to cry every time I performed. She even cried during some of my comedy acts. She cried when I evaded death in The Plot to Keep Craig From Acting Any More. She said she wanted to spend more time with me," Long recollected, "but she moved away shortly after and now goes to the theater more than ever. She even enjoys it again. I still can't figure out what the deal was there."
Undaunted, Long promptly forgot all about acting and spent most of the years afterwards attending college and doing odd jobs about the country. He met Chris Tso while sweeping floors at a porno movie theater, and the two launched into Tso Long Productions, which made its debut with a five-minute short film called "A Spade is a Heart" (a title, because of the misconstruing of the words, which was later changed to "The Fatal Game of Cards"). The movie featured several porn star characters who decide to play a game of reverse strip poker, and subsequently reassess their values in life. "It's a film ahead of its time," Long said. "Genius is never understood until after it's departed this mortal coil." Needless to say, the film got both film aspirants kicked out of NIU's Film Department.
Thursdays at Dooley's is Tso Long Production's first major endeavor, but the team is already working on a second feature film presentation, The Maddening Taming of the Shrew Woman I Married." "It's a work in progress," Long said, sounding defensive. "If you've got a better title, I'd like to hear it."
Has a maddening fear of flies, mostly because of David Cronenberg's The Fly, but also because, in matters like this, Long is a bit of a wimp.
Never wanted to be a basketball player, despite his 6'3" height. So don't ask.
"Intelligence is secondary to character."
"I may be dumb, but god damn it, I'm not ignorant."(On working with friends and SO's) "It plays hell with your social life. You bawl at one of your stars for poor anger delivery, and that night you're at a bar and he's throwing you up against the wall. Then you're like, 'Why couldn't you do that before?'"
Copyright 2001 Tso Long Productions ©