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Todd McFarlane should be ashamed of himself. If you're going to sell out, sell out big. After all, the guy writes about Hell and souls-for-riches bargains. You'd think he'd know better.
Spawn has the same basic story as McFarlane's comic book, which is all well and good. Al Simmons (Michael Jamal-White) is a government assasin who tries to get out of the business before he sinks too low and loses his family, but shadowy governmet figure Jason Wynn (Martin Sheen) won't let him. So Simmons gets torched, dies, and makes a deal with the devil (or in this case Malebolgia, voiced by vocal genius Frank Welker) to join Hell's army as a Hellspawn if he can see his wife Wanda (Theresa Randle) one more time. Simmons sees her all right, but besides dealing with the fact that his wife is now sporting around town with his former best friend, he's also got to deal with a hideous new skin problem, a new costume that sports spikes chains and a cloak, and a grinning Blue Man Group reject from Hell Clown (John Leguizamo) intent on making sure he fulfills his end of the deal.
Soon, Spawn is up to his spiked armpits in one of the most ridiculous stories seen, topped only in Blair Witch 2, where the famed Witch apparently learned about video editing and made her own Burkitsville's Funniest Home Video. I mean, I can swallow a U.S. Government employee making deals with the devil--it would explain how a lot of rejects managed to land office in the first place. But when murderous clowns start advising these employees to stick bomb activators in their hearts and worry less about going to Hell than they do about losing money in munitions deals, my credibility starts to slip like a wet butt on a water slide. The comic book fans can rave all they want about the "dark justice" Spawn is after here-- what we really need is a story that makes all the special effects and costumed theatricals a bit more necessary.
It doesn't help that the acting is pretty abysmal as well. I've never said a bad word about a child actor in my life, for instance, but the kid playing Cyan sounds like she's reading her lines into a stethescope, and Martin Sheen, who does wonders in some of his other roles, is about as convincing a bad guy as Col. Klink was on Hogan's Heroes.
The premise is great. The special effects rock. That's why the comic and HBO special worked so well. But this movie does absolutely no justice whatsoever to Spawn's legacy, dark or otherwise. Exorcise it as soon as humanly possible.
--Long
Copyright 2002 Tso Long Productions ©